I went for a walk this morning with a wonderful friend...someone whom I have known since we were young (are we still young?) We talked about college, choices we made, experiences we avoided, and the insecurities of that time period.* I surprised even myself as I remembered the play that I did not try out for because none of my friends were involved in theater. The term abroad I did not apply for because I worried that by the time I returned back to school, my friends would have moved on without me. I remembered the defining moment that I experienced when I realized enough is enough. That my insecurities could not define my choices any longer. That I had to take some risks.
Months later, I sat in my parents' living room telling them that I was moving to Los Angeles to teach in East L.A. To live in community with, at that point, strangers. To drive my dad's old car across the country. To try something new. For me...this was beyond bold.
This early-morning, old-friend type of conversation that put into perspective for me, this stage of life in which I live today. Mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister. I exist in this space, most days, with confidence that I could not have even dreamed up those years in college. I think this is what people talk about when they say getting older is not so bad...the comfort with oneself.